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Enslaved Biotic Application

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Re: Enslaved Biotic Application

Post  DIABLO258 on Sun Aug 12, 2012 7:00 pm

★Spade★: ACCEPTED

Very good. Im impressed. The /me's and /it's were very nice and detailed. And the background story was very well told. Good work. Ask any SA to whitelist you.
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DIABLO258

Posts : 295
Join date : 2012-06-07
Age : 21
Location : Minnesota

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Re: Enslaved Biotic Application

Post  Magnum21 on Wed Aug 15, 2012 2:35 pm

Steam name:/\/\agnum
Steam ID:STEAM_0:1:38823154
Age:15
How long have you been roleplaying?:2 years


20 lines of roleplay examples, using /it and /me. (Eg: /it The windows seem to have stains along the edges and center slowly dripping down. /me takes out a wet towel twisting it and scrubing along the glass in a circular motion.)
/me Is looking around for something to clean
/it A citizen approaches saying "Do you want to be free"
/me replies "The combine will be angry with thiiiis one
/it The citizen insists "Come with me,now"
/me trys to run.xar'zel has rolled 51
/it /genericnamedcitizen rolls 50
/me runs away
/me is approached by a helix,ordering in a demanding voice "Come with me"
/me Says "This one will do as he is told,masssster
/me follows the helix to the medbay
/it The helix orders "Clean this blood up,now"
/me is thrown a wet rag
/me responds "This one will clean,Maaaaster"
/me begins cleaning
/me wipes the blood in a circular motion,eventually cleaning all the blood up
/it The helix walks back in,tracking mud on the floor
/it The helix orders in a demanding voice "Clean this dirt up"
/me Responds "This one will do as he is told"
/me Starts wiping the mud off the medbay's floor
/me Cleans all the mud up and leaves
/me Walks around the nexus awaiting further orders


Character backstory (6 lines at least detailing you character's background. Events, job, family etc and should reflect your skills):Xar'zel was a adopted vortigaunt,adoped by a elder,and taught over the years how to heal and use the vortessence.Xar'zel eventually leared to heal larger wounds,but then,the combine invaded.The elder fought back,trying to protect a small family of other vortigaunts,but was shot down.
Xar'zel was scared,running,he was shot in the back with a pulse rifle,causing him to fall over while running and become inslaved.Xar'zel served the combine to the best of his abilities,out of fear and depression.
___________________________________________
(Names formats should be as followed, example: "Zek'Tul" having a dash in the center)
Name:Xar'zel
Age:31
Skin tone colour:Dark greene,almost black
Eye colour:Red-orange
Scars/Marks:Large scars all the way down both arms,back has a large burn and a wound from a pulse rifle round.

Specific skills and specialist, such as medical knowlege, knowlege of technology, philosophy etc?: knowledge in philosophy,Trained under a elder for healing


Did you ever have a problem with your established government in Xen?:None,too scared to resist.

What do you plan to do with your biotic character in the future?:
This one plans to serve the combine,not out of willingness,but of fear..

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Magnum21

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Join date : 2012-06-14

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Re: Enslaved Biotic Application

Post  Archimedes on Wed Aug 15, 2012 9:02 pm

Magnum: Denied

Your rp examples were ok. You definately added more detail then your previous app, but it still is too little. Just because Vortigaunts are aliens doesn't mean they don't feel emotion. Also your backstory was lacking. It feels rushed mainly due to the little detail, grammer, and spelling errors.

Some extra detail and spell check will guarantee an acceptance. Re-apply in 2 days.
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Archimedes

Posts : 106
Join date : 2012-06-15
Age : 22
Location : New Jersey, USA

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Re: Enslaved Biotic Application

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